I asked Charlie several times if he really wanted me to talk to his class, and every time he said yes. Finally, last night, the night before I was to appear with my giant plush Nemo (the lucky fin!) and my Noodle book ("'What size and shape do you wish to be?' said the dog fairy. 'Just exactly the size and shape I am right now.'"), I asked Charlie one more time: "So are you ready for me to talk to your class tomorrow?"
"Yes," he said, "because if you say poo-poo, it is not nice."
I realized that this had nothing to do with Charlie's ear. This was about name calling and potty talk. If I went in there and started pointing out Charlie's different ear (which is only one of the things that's different about Charlie's head and face, but it's the most obvious) I might be doing more harm than good. I'd be making a big deal out of something that none of these kids has ever thought was a big deal.
So I changed my strategy. This morning, I brought my revelation to Charlie's teacher, and she understood. "You don't have to say anything," she said, "Or you can do the whole thing, or whatever you want. It's totally up to you." We decided I would just read Noodle and see where the discussion would take us. "Probably the kids will just say, 'I've seen a giraffe!'" I said. "Or," said Charlie's teacher, "'My aunt Sophie came for the weekend!'"
The children sat in a circle around me and vowed to use number one voices. I didn't know what that meant, so they told me: Number one means no sound at all. Number two is whispering, number three is regular voices, number four is outside voices, and number five is EMERGENCY!
I began to read. I gave each animal in the story a silly voice. Halfway through, one little boy asked me "Will you read this story again?" I said "Let's see if we can finish it once." Charlie squirmed in his spot, delighted that his mom was here and putting on a show. At the end, the kids all gave me the thumbs up, which I found out does not mean "I like it," it means "I have something to say." We went around the circle. "I liked it when the ostrich was so silly," said one kid. "I liked when the giraffe bent waaaaaaaaaaaay down," said another.
"My favorite thing in this story," I said, "is how polite the animals all are to each other. They say "Hello, how are you, thank you, good-bye."
"What I really like," said Charlie's teacher, "is how every animal is a different shape that is just right for them."
I'm sure our little lesson was way too vague for these wee dudes and gals. But maybe it was just the right first step towards good citizenship and acceptance.
"Please read it again!" they begged.
"I think your teachers have something else planned for you to do next," I said. "But you know what? I think since we have all had such a good time, I will come back and read another story soon!"
I picked up my tote bag with Nemo still hiding inside and walked out as my son ran off to his next activity with nothing on his mind but dinosaurs and Star Wars.
