Homemade Cocoa By the Fire! (Gag, Vomit)

Summer and Charlie met Frog and Toad at the Concord Museum.

So. This week, my oldest friend in the world (unless you count Sharon or the Huntingtons), Maggie, told me that from my blog, our life sounded in some way... ideal.

And, recently on Facebook, some friends of mine have posted things like:

"I have a yard full of kids making snowmen. Soon they'll be coming in for cocoa with real whipped cream!"

Which is just obnoxious. So show-offy. It makes me want to hide their status updates. And if I did that, what would be the point of looking at Facebook at all?*

*I'll tell you what the point is: I have a Facebook friend who is Facebook friends with Armistead Maupin. Celebrity stalking. That's what the point is. Right?

So. As I told Maggie, our life is absolutely ideal. For the 10 seconds a day we are not SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER. And if I have lead you to believe otherwise, well, shame on me.

Now I'm going to go decorate my playroom for a space-travel themed story hour! 3, 2, 1, blastoff!** ***

**Kidding! I don't have a playroom. Though there is a room in my basement--with musty industrial carpet, my old futon, and the "media center" that Jeff made in shop class--that we fully intend to turn into a playroom. Some time before Oscar turns 18. Right now it's just filled with boxes from our move. OF A YEAR AND A HALF AGO.

*** Actual quote from Actual Facebook friend. The worst part is, these are really lovely people in real life, I swear. What is it about the Internet that turns us into horrifying fakey fake Stepford Mommies?

Toodles!

Comments

[Jill]

From an FB friend this morning:

"Relaxing in bed watching the snow, the boys are downstairs listening to A Charlie Brown Christmas and making me breakfast; omelettes, toast and coffee!"

[Jill]

(And we're not even going to talk about the comma splice and sentence fragment.)

[Jill]

Now I'm trying to think about what my status update would be. True, Jeff is making bacon and eggs. But there's also a swath of something that could be kid vomit, or cat poop, to contend with. I don't think we'll ever find out what it is, since the cats aren't talking.

[Maggie]

Love this. And you know why blogging brings out the best (and not worst) of our lives? It's the same reason that baby books don't read:"Day 5 of screaming, projectile vomiting, pooping mess. I'm not supposed to be a mother! Why did the hospital entrust me with this little (screaming) angel?!" Right? Instead it talks about the instant bonding, deep abiding love, sweet smell of talcum (which of course is applied only post-pooping, projectile vomiting episodes) . . . .

[Maggie]

Oh, yes, and by the way, the frogs kinda creep me out . . . . just saying (I'm not big on giant costumed characters)

[cate]

Facebook is disturbing. Yet addictive.

I've never heard of the Concord Museum! Off to google it. Love Frog and Toad, although I agree they look a little creepy there.

[Heather Z]

I see Maggie's point. But I think you often tell it like it is on the blog. Lots to be thankful for...but you talk about the harder stuff, too...vomit and all.

And now I will think of you whenever I post a particularly treacly update on FB.

[Jill]

Heather, you are not an offender. Your posts are nice little snapshots of what's going on over there at your house.

[Jill]

And, Frog and Toad were not at all creepy. But I DO like giant costumed characters. Very much in fact. Does anyone remember when some baseball players tripped some costumed sausages with bats? That was hilarious.

[Jill]

Oh crap. I just realized that the rocketship story hour person has read my blog in the past. In all fairness I must add that that person, who is an exceptionally lovely person, was transforming her playroom for a large group story hour that she was hosting, not just for her own children.

And now I've officially exceeded the number of times one can comment on one's own post without seeming like a total boze.

[Heather Z]

I just showed that adorable photo to GSZ, and he said, "Who are Frog and Toad?" Oh dear! Apparently we have been REMISS in the education of the third kid. :) I'll have to dig the books out. Also~ about the costumes he said, "So are they alive, or something?" Then he sheepishly said, "Oh, I bet they're just costumes."

And~ I wasn't offended by the FB thing. ;)

[Paula]

I'm glad FB didn't exist when A was a baby. This is akin to my announcing to the moms group that my two month old slept nine hours a night. Not a crime, but something that may have gotten me beat up outside the church if it wasn't for the colicky children sucking up all the mothers' attention. You all forgave me for that. Thankfully. And I think I have sufficiently complained about my life since then even though I probably am guilty for occasionally posting something syrupy on FB. XOXO