Langer Loksh

And Now it's Time For: Ask Grandma Joyce

I suddenly got a little overwhelmed with ear-related decision making. So I called my mother and blabbered it all out to her, only because I knew she was sitting at home whereas Jeff is probably standing underneath a 20-ton concrete counterweight and maybe doesn't want to be distracted. Here is the breakdown:

1. Hearing aid. When I suggested that it might be imprudent to purchase a $4,000 hearing aid that a three-year-old boy will probably rip off his head and stomp on, the other moms and dads in our hearing loss support group suggested I find out if we can get a loaner bone-anchored hearing aid. We cannot get a loaner from the hearing aid place that our insurance requires us to use. Children's Hospital has a loaner that's a little different--it's a bone-conduction hearing aid on a metal headband like old-school Walkman headphones. We can borrow it for $90. Wasn't sure if it was worth bothering since it's not the same thing. Grandma Joyce says: Go for it. Can't hurt.

2. CT scan/face guy/surgery. A nurse called me and gave me a date for a sedated CT scan and subsequent appointment with the face guy in advance of scheduling surgery to excise the duplicate ear canal that seems to be the source of the angry red bulge. I told her that was not a good day because I have my baby's two-month checkup that day. Of course I could have rescheduled Oscar; I didn't add that I also paid for a Groundhog Day program at Drumlin Farm the same day and would hate to lose my twenty bucks. So she gave me another appointment a month later. I immediately felt like a jerk for postponing something important for a rodent who is afraid of his own shadow. Grandma Joyce says: Don't worry about it. (Unresolved question: How will I manage Charlie getting an IV with baby Oscar's potentially ill-timed fussing, nursing, what-have-you? Why don't we have an (unattractive German) au pair?)

3. Oscar's hearing test. If you  have a kid with hearing loss, they say you should have your other kids' hearing tested. I dutifully made an appointment for Oscar to have a hearing test, even though we know why Charlie has hearing loss and Oscar does not have the same thing. And Oscar passed the newborn hearing screen. Now I realize that Oscar's hearing test will be a pain in the ass because you  have to keep the baby awake in the car on the way to the hearing test so that he will sleep in the hearing test. (It is a brain-wave test, not a behavioral test, because Oscar is too little to care about putting blocks in a bucket when he hears the tone.) With all of the other appointments we have, this just seems like jumping through flaming hoops for no apparent reason. Am I a bad mother if I just cancel Oscar's hearing test? Grandma Joyce says: Absolutely not. Cancel it!

Thanks, Grandma Joyce. I feel ever so slightly less scrambled.

Fatty Hindmilk

The operative word in our house this week is fatty hindmilk. OK, two words. Whatever.

Oscar was a farting burping crying freak for a while there. I called the pedi and he said to stop eating caffeine, chocolate, broccoli and garlic. Ha ha ha. Stop eating chocolate. You almost had me there for a minute, Dr. J.! Such a jokester.

Called the lactation consultant and she said nuh no, keep eating chocolate, but when you nurse Oscar, do not switch sides. Nurse him, burp him, and then put him back on the same side. That way he gets more fatty hindmilk. And lo and behold, Oscar is a lovely, charming, smiley infant.

Who still sleeps exclusively in his car seat. But please. One thing at a time. Fatty hindmilk. We can't stop saying it over here. Thought you other lactating gals might want to know about this.

Wanting More Time to Post but Have Newborn

Saw ear surgeon on Fri. Think I may have frightened surgeon with my dangerous amount of knowledge of ears and ear surgeons across the U.S.A. Surgeon agreed w/me that it is unacceptable for Charlie to walk around with an infection in the side of his head all the time. Will do surgery to obliterate parallel dead-end ear canal. Showed me that said canal actually has an opening, inside the furled-up part of Charlie's shiitake ear. Was SHOCKED! Never noticed second hole in own son's ear! Almost fell off chair! Surgeon wants face guy to scrub in too, to make sure they don't mess up already messed-up facial nerve. Am happy with and confident in surgeon, though still wary of and concerned about surgery on small boy. Will meet with face guy and endure second CT scan sometime in the next couple weeks.

Shoutout to My Girls at the Taco

Sue and Janet... aw yeah...

Practicing

"Yeah... you don't look like Johnny Cash. Especially in your pajamas."

Abe Lincoln: The Troy Bolton of the 19th Century

Yesterday Summer's backpack contained a biography of Young Abraham Lincoln, Log-Cabin President. I figured the teacher must have handed them out in honor of Inauguration Day. We read it eagerly. I temporarily forgot that Lincoln got shot and killed; this is how the book ends and it was a little shocking after all the cute anecdotes about rascally Abe down on the farm. Summer asked a lot of questions. We talked for a long time about slavery, the Civil War, and President Obama.

Today Summer's teacher sent an email. Apparently the Lincoln book belongs to Summer's classmate Aidan and inadvertently ended up with Summer's Scholastic order.

*Sigh.* Tonight's discussion: "Disney's High School Musical Look-and-Find."

First Smiles

Though Oscar spends most of his time crying and farting (I'll say it so you don't have to: Oscar the Grouch!), he's starting to take the odd break for smiling.

Oh, the Facebook, It is a Bad Bad Thing

I'm getting friend requests from some pretty random people. Like Jeff's cousin's fiancee. So I decided, what the hell, I'll just be friend with everybody. And I accepted the friending of that mean girl from high school. And then I mentioned it to Karen, my best friend from high school, and she was like, "Why didn't she friend me?" And then I noticed that my old boyfriend did not accept my friending. And that made me feel like a leper.

But I'm drawing the line at people I have never heard of. "Ignore." Click!

For Real?

As Charlie would say, "Guys, guys, I got a question for ya."

What do you do when someone who was really mean in high school "friends" you on Facebook?

Santa, It's JUST What I Wanted!

The Angry Red Bulge reared its angry red head on Christmas Eve. Took Charlie to the pedi and got him on Bactrim. Allowed pedi to pierce said bulge. Seemed to not get as big as in the past but also has not shrunk down completely.

Received letter from ear doc Dr. Kenna indicating bone-anchored hearing aid will help Charlie. This was the last thing I needed to collect before filing with the Knights of Columbus for charitable aid for the hearing aid. Must write to the Knights ASAP.

Also scheduled appointment with fancy surgeon at Children's, Dr. Gopen, to see about obliterating Charlie's extra bonus dead-end ear canal, which we believe is the source of the bulge. Am ambivalent about surgery--don't love the idea of putting my three-year-old under and cutting open his head--but am getting a little freaked out by the chronic infection.

Charlie, meanwhile, has yet to complain about a thing in life. This week he is calling himself Supertramp--not a reference to the 70s rock band, but a combination of his interest in superheroes and Lady and the Tramp.