Outed

When I started this blog, only my relatives read it. Now, anyone can find it on a search engine. I'm not 100% sure how that works, but I've developed some sort of critical mass of links or hits or something, and I'm now easy to find if you're searching for Disney Princess or hemifacial microsomia or microtia or, apparently, "midget needs his diaper changed." Yes, I can see the search terms people use to end up here. And sometimes it's disturbing.

This week someone from my Yahoo! microtia group came upon the blog of Julie, mom of Miles, a three-year-old undergoing ear reconstruction via the Medpor method. (Quick reminder: rib graft ears are less perfect looking but more tried and true.) Julie posted her opinion of rib graft ears on her blog (specifically, that they are ugly), and this other mom felt very angry and insulted when she read it. So she wrote this crazy venomous post to the Yahoo! group about how Julie is "sooooooo two-faced," and the board erupted. It was like when [Name removed because it's freaking me out how many times people have Googled this person to end up at my site--yes, I can see how you get here*] kicked me in the butt for saying that Doug Spitzer was her boyfriend in fourth grade. In other words, totally age-appropriate--if you're NINE! I wish I could post some of the more flammable material here, but I'm afraid that would get me in trouble. One adult with microtia struck a positive note while trying to get people to see how silly they were being:

"My Grade III ears look infinately cooler and more elegant than your Grade II and Grade I ears. For starters, having absolutely no hole whatsoever is just too cool for school. And the long slender even strip has a certain uniform grace to it. Finally, my pointy tip is elfin in its attractiveness. "

After the flame war, lots of people visited Julie's blog, and because she has a link to my blog, they found me next. Anyone reading my blog should know: it's just me, stumbling around my feelings about having a child who looks different and has a hearing impairment and what, if anything, we're going to do about it. It's awkward, painful, and often joyful. Most important, it's helping me, so if you don't like what you read, just ignore me.

*Updated 11/12/06: Here's the real story behind the butt kicking.

Comments

[Julie]

I'm sorry that you have been dragged into this, due to the link from my blog. I hope no one harasses you like they have me. If you want me to delete the link from my blog to yours, just say the word.

I also loved Moe's post about the "pointy elfin tip." She sounds great!

Luckily, most people like you have been very supportive. It's just a small, loud number that have been horrid.

Give Charlie a hug for me!

[joy]

thanks for the tips on ways to search for your blog. I often bring home different laptops from work and can never remember how to spell your blog. In the past, I've tried various combinations ("long noodle and charlie" for example) but they never get me here.

Just now, I tried to search for it ("midget diaper") -- ummm... that was a mistake, NOT a PG search! But then I guessed how to spell microtia correctly and "microtia and charlie" got me here!