Langer Loksh

Two Pictures Involving My Van

We turned Oscar's seat around!

and...

the cookies are in.

What, No Flu Mist for the Great Apes?

"We couldn't really give him a Band-Aid, because he'd eat it."

Dr. J. Explains it All

Oscar is fourteen months old today. In the past few days he has switched over completely from crawling to walking. He is in the 90th percentile for length and the 48th for weight, up from the 25th from when he had the endless tummy bug.

"Dr. J.," I said as casually as I could, "How long do pink eye germs live on, say, a toy?"

"Oh, maybe 20 or 30 minutes," he said. "They are not very hardy."

*Registering shock*

"Really?" I said. "So I guess I can stop staring freakishly into Oscar's eyes every morning to see if he got pink eye from, like, a Lego? Because Charlie's been on the meds for like five days now?"

"Oh yeah, you're fine," says Dr. J.

"Hm," I say, beginning to slip out from behind the carefully constructed shield that I wear when pretending to be an even slightly normal human being in front of Dr. J. "So why do the nurses tell me to wash the sheets and spray Lysol everywhere and wipe every surface of my house with Clorox wipes, like, every night during the outbreak?"

And Dr. J. says: "To make you crazy."

And I say: "It worked!"

I Have Angered the Gods

You will no longer be proud of me. It seems my post about how maturely I handled December's pink eye bout has angered the Gods and Goddesses of Conjunctiva. We had a new outbreak last week--first Jeff, then me, then Charlie--and I have been a total loser about it. I wake up in the night breathless with panic, thinking that Oscar will be next and will rub his eyes and then rub his hands all over every surface of this house and we will all be doomed, DOOMED, for EVAHHHHHH. So far, his Baby Hazels remain pristine. I plan to make a sacrificial offering of the Gentamycin, Vigamox, Polytrim, Tobradex, and good old erythromycin that has populated the top shelf of my upstairs hall closet (heretofore known as The Museum of Pink Eye Medicine) on an altar of warm compresses.

An Excellent Question

Summer wants to know why, if Charlie's wife goes down to the Scollay Square station every day at quarter past two, and through the open window hands Charlie a sandwich as the train comes rumbling through, she doesn't just hand him a nickel.

Haiti

I'm trying to figure out where our donation will go. I'm thinking probably Doctors Without Borders. Here is a helpful page from Charity Navigator.

You're Going to be SO PROUD of Me When You Read This Post

Charlie got pink eye over school vacation week in December. The eye doctor gave us Tobradex, which is a double-barreled weapon containing antibiotics and steroids. And even though it took several days longer than it was supposed to, it worked. I only felt myself teetering on the edge of the swirling vortex of panic two or three times. And I didn't tell anyone until just now.

So? What do you think, huh? Personal growth, yes? I thought so!

Class of 2023

Just registered Mr. McBarleypants for kindergarten!

A Message from Summer the Brownie Scout

If you would like to buy any Girl Scout cookies, please call Summer.
P.S. They are $4.00 each. Thank you for supporting my troop.

Birthday Present to Myself

Got your baby, got your blanket, got your bucket of beer.